THE ERA OF THE HOT MUMS
On the way back to the office a few weeks ago. My team members told our driver to pass a side street because of them wanted to get something. On getting to the actual street, we saw a lady walking down the road…a full figured woman. She was tall with boobs that’ll make Kendra Wilkinson look flat and well rounded buttocks. While our bus passed her, myself and the dude beside me (we usually sit at the back of the bus) turned to look at the babe…
…CHOI! The babe was breathtaking. Fine is an understatement. Beautiful doesn’t even quantify her. Dressed simply in a t-shirt, jean shorts and flip flops, it was obvious she was just taking a stroll. She had the look of a 20-year old lady. She caught our glimpse and laughed…a wholehearted laugh. Ah! The teeth…sigh!
The men in my team debated on whom to go after her. While their little banter went on, I told the driver to park while I alighted from the bus. So I went after her and introduced myself, spun some lyrics and shit…She told me her name was LD, she aint doing anything at the moment and…wait for the bombshell…
Trust omo boy not to believe such hocus-pocus. I just laughed and she laughed too. She then flipped her finger to show me a very small, cute rock. I told her any babe can give herself a ring. All this while, my team bus was driving slowly behind us while we walked. We got to the front of her house and a little girl came out and screamed “MUMMY!” My heart fell. I then asked her “who married you?” Cheeky right? But at that point I was drawn to her. I asked for her number but she declined and said it was cos of temptations. I just had to let her be.
LD is an example of the many married women out there who could still pass for a single babe. This is because they take very good care of themselves and not allow the weight of marriage pull them down. Many Nigerian women start ageing fast the moment they get married. Marriage is supposed to make you fresher and ease a lot of emotional baggage.
My friend Hot Mum 1 still goes clubbing with her husband. She would pass for a 21-year old girl. She dresses trendy and ‘knows what’s up’. Hot mum 2 and her husband came in for a friend’s birthday the other day and they looked like they were dating and not married. Even making jokes and laughing at us the ‘young’ ones. These ladies have been married for quite some time and have kids of their own but yet, you wouldn’t know it.
Many Nigerian women lose touch with their younger sides the moment they get married. They think it’s childish of them to go out at night and have fun. The annoying one is giving out their clothes and acquiring aso-oke materials like that’s what is in vogue and toning down their makeup.For the daring ones, using ankara as nightgowns. What happened to sexy lingerie…I will chase any woman who uses such as nightie.
I want to marry a lady who’ll still act the way she was before we tied the knot. We gotta go clubbing. She gotta be dressing hot to the point she will be toasted (I’ll kill any man who tries this though). My future wife has to compete with younger, unmarried babes. In America, such women are known as MILFs (Mum I’ll Love to F**k). What these women don’t know is that it reduces the risk of losing their men to other women (not unless the man is habitually promiscuous).
On a closing note, if you are married or about to marry, try, endeavour to keep being beautiful and trendy. Be called a HOT MUM. Make your husband proud to have you as a wife and you won’t regret the decision.
(This piece is dedicated to my hot mum friends Kunbi Mogaji, Vivienne Okikiposu and Yemi Keshinro).